Off topic.....

So like everyone I'm getting organised ready for Back to School.  The clothes have been bought and labeled.  The PE kit is packed the lunch bags have been made....

This year is a bit different though Miss C is also going.......  I'm sure you've all been through this the youngest starting school buts its a bit scary to realise that she starts on Friday!  She had a trial run of her school uniform the other day and she looked so cute, but she also looked really grown up and also way too small all at the same time if that makes sense!  Shes very positive about going to school, her big sister will be in the same school, her best friend in the same class so she's really excited about it, I'm going along with that and I know that once she goes in on Friday I'll feel OK about it but at the moment I'm having a bit of a wobble.  That's why I thought I would off-load on the blogosphere so I can process what I'm feeling without letting on to Miss C that I'm anxious about it. 

When Miss M went I'm sure I felt like this but I don't remember it.  Miss M's personality meant that I didn't really have any concerns about her starting school, shes so confident and independent that she barely gives me a backward glance going off to do new things!  Miss C can be a little more reticent at doing things on her own, she's usually OK when there are other kids around  and she's one of the gang so I'm know she'll be fine. 

I guess it comes to the fact that I know she'll be fine in school, she will prosper and grow the same way Miss M, she will learn skills I can't teach her, she'll make friends I haven't found for her, she'll have fun I'm not involved in and she'll take the first of many steps away from me.  Miss M is well on that path to independence and with our support has flourished at school and Miss C will be the same, all the same I feel sad that the baby stage of my life has ended. 

I was looking at a family in a cafe the other day with a beautiful pudgy little 4 month old and I felt nostalgic for the days gone by.  Don't get me wrong I'm not broody, I don't want another one, but I kinda wanted to go back to those days just to be able to smell them again, to hold them again and to feel that they need me as much as they did then.  Babyhood is gone in a flash and you don't realise it at the time, it seems like an endless round of sleepless nights, dirty nappies and crying babies.  If you still at that stage with your children give them a extra hug from me and try to remember that smell! 

Right enough wallowing from me, I've offloaded my thoughts on your guys and thank you for listening, normal service will resume soon, I'll have more time on my hands so I might get some sewing done soon!